# Introspective Writing Journey

You can see I write various posts at different times in a day. At times, there are no posts for a whole day, while some days have 3 to 4 posts in a single day. These are thoughts that strike my mind and those that I feel compelled to pen down. Lately, I have been feeling an urge to grab my laptop, open it, and start writing my thoughts. It's truly surprising to see that by jotting these thoughts down, I find myself journeying through various unexplored terrains of the mind, memory, and thoughts.

I am still just a newbie in writing. My goal is to improve over the next 2 years. I believe this timeframe is optimal to become proficient at writing and expressing my thoughts in a more fluent and refined manner.

Perhaps, along the way, I will discover my unique style of writing. I hope this happens sooner rather than later.

Gradually, I aim to establish a small web presence and document my thoughts. I am uncertain about who would be reading my website since I have no analytics on them. The only way I can gauge interest is through the Neocities graph that displays the views. Who knows if visitors are simply clicking on my webpage and leaving immediately.

Honestly, I want people to read my story, but if you were to ask me why they should, I wouldn't have an answer. To jest, I might say it's to satisfy human curiosity about what others are up to.

There is no structure to the thoughts that I write and I appreciate this randomness.

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I sense that my health is weakening. I feel both physically and mentally exhausted. I am dissatisfied with the life I am leading. I wonder if every other human experiences similar emotions. Finding satisfaction in at least one aspect of my life could bring me immense joy, but I am struggling to do so. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed and sad, just because I see "no moon in night sky". I lack the motivation to step out of my comfort zone; perhaps, I am weary of the outside world.

I had a trip with my family last week. It had a huge impact on me, leading to a mental realization of self. I understand its importance, but at the end of the day after work, I feel exhausted. My dad asks me to exercise, but I am already tired, and he is asking me to do more exercise and get even more tired. I feel it's just complicating the issues. I almost hate going outside on the road as it's very noisy and irritating. I feel people are very rude and they put on a fake smile. I feel most people in my society are so stupid that they don't understand how to empathize.

The human nature of stupidity has caused me to just hate the crowd culture. Can you believe that I don't much appreciate listening to music? I do listen to it, but not very often. Most of the music on Spotify that tops the charts is so stupid. I like indie music that is soft, calming, and relaxing. I hate meditation and lo-fi music. It's very irritating. I also hate loud and electronic music that has no meaning to it. Some mad guy trying to make some stupid music and random people liking it for no reason.